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Joke of the Day

"Grandma got bussy.... I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69. She said, ""No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."""

"I accidentally mixed my coffee my redbull.. After 15 minutes of driving I realised I forgot my car."

"People on Facebook Nowadays: *Clicks pic while sipping coffee* *Posts as DP with irrelevant caption: Every scar makes me who I am* WTF?"

"Oohh, you play bass, as in the guitar. I thought you played bass, like the fish. I would've paid to see that."

"What's the best part about a Fight Club joke? The punchline."

"What do Walruses and Tupperware have in common? They're both looking for a tight seal."

"I told my wife she should call me a champion bullrider... Because I consistently last 8 seconds riding a horned animal."

"Pal: That's an impressive stingray. How'd you catch it? Me:*flashes back to being dressed as girl stingray* You know, the regular way."

"God, grant me the serenity to yell at immigrant children, the courage to still say I'm a Christian, and the ignorance to not get the irony."

"You have the right to remain silent because whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway."