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Joke of the Day

"""You will not marry him! He is not of our kind!"" But we're in love! ""It is forbidden!"" *whale elopes with submarine*"

"Butcher A man in a butcher shop: ""I would like bull testicles please"" Butcher: ""Me too"""

"Gaining weight when you are still owing me money is a sign of disrespect"

"Batman Pros: Intelligence, strategist, master fighter, money, Shit shaped like bats, Alfred Cons: Robin"

"Good one liner You have a striking face.....how many times has it been struck?"

"What's long and black? An unemployment line."

"Can somebody explain to me the uproar over the CEO editing posts? I mean... what part of Chief Editing Officer don't these people understand?"

"I've just brought a donut shaped pancake.... Holy Crepe."

"The families in Eggo commercials live in nice houses and appear wealthy. Why are they always fighting over one shitty frozen waffle?"

"Why do hipsters love 'Raiders of the Lost Ark'? because it was the first Indie film."