144242

Joke of the Day

"How does a Scotsman find a sheep in the tall grass? Very satisfying. Retweaked joke: How does a (insert nationality here) find a sheep in the tall grass? Very (insert extremely lustful emotion here)!"

"I mentioned to my friend Hanz that today's the anniversary of the world trade center attacks. ""Nein, 11"" he said."

"I asked Kanye West if he'd seen Inception & he opened the locket around his neck revealing a photo of me asking him of he'd seen Inception."

"*you open a ring box and inside it is an enormous pair of jeans* He went to Jared"

"Just been reading Delia Smith's recipe for scrambled eggs... Apparently ""they should be soft and fluffy."" No you daft bitch that means they've hatched."

"Did you hear about the guy that farted in church? He had to sit in his own pew."

"My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got fired because I couldn't concentrate."

"How many BLM protestors does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one to hold the bulb while the world revolves around them."

"There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who divide everybody into two kinds of people, and those who don't."

"Don't ever go to Bates Motel... a PSYCO lives there!"