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Joke of the Day

"""I love you. I'd do anything for you."" -let me see your phone real quick ""You're smothering me. I need some space"""

"How was the red sea made? Over a very long period"

"I wanted to eat Nicki Minaj's sugary sweet ass like a cupcake... But all I got was an anal cavity :("

"Whats the difference between New York and Middle Earth? Two towers."

"What did the caterpillar say to the cocoon after he broke out? Moth."

"What would Kim Jong-Il be doing if he was still alive today? Scratching at the lid of his coffin."

"A shitty geometry joke What do you call a fancy bisexual scottish cane? An anglo biscepter"

"This Halloween, the only Candy I'm interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues."

"""I want to take you home, pull off your jacket, run my hand down your spine and curl up with you on the couch."" -- bibliophiles, to books"

"I don't throw gang signs. I'm Scottish. I throw bricks :)"