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Joke of the Day

"Ikea is Swedish for DIY"

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"If a tree falls in the forest and nobody hears it... then my illegal logging business is a success."
"I don't want to spoil my autobiography for you. But at the end, you find out that you've just wasted 4.99."
"Whats long and black? the unemployed line."
"Jokels: It's a simple joke website. http://jokels.com/"
"The more you run over a cat... the flatter it gets."
"How can you tell if your wife is dead? [NSFW] The sex is the same but the dishes pile up. Didn't make this up, credit goes to the morning show I was listening to this morning."
"I got a dog for my wife. It was a good trade."
"Me: Can I leave early? Boss: Why? Me: Death Boss: Who died? Me: No one yet Boss: Me: Boss: Get out"
"Did you hear about the blondes who were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater? They were waiting for ""Closed For The Winter"" to start."