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Joke of the Day

"The more you run over a cat... the flatter it gets."

"There's no ""creative"" way to arrange 29 sponsor logos. Let it go, walkathon t-shirt designer."

"How do we create jobs? I thought he was already dead"

"I had a racist incident in my kitchen today.... The black bean soup started dissing the white cream sauce, I finally told them both to simmer down."

"Why did (do?) cavemen drag their women by the hair? if the dragged them by their feet they'd fill up with mud."

"I hate being bipolar... But it's also pretty awesome sometimes."

"Why would anyone want to shoot themselves or others when we live in a world where weed, titties, Game of Thrones and free music exists?"

"Why does having sex outside suck? NSFW Because of the fucking mosquitoes."

"Flavor Flav turns 51 today. He'll spend a quiet day at home, still resting up after a weekend of moving clocks forward."

"How did Vladimir Lenin originally get into power? ""This isn't just a campaign, this is a political *revolution!*"""