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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a fugitive, talking down to you while fleeing down the stairs? a condescending con descending."

"I'm an atheist with a god-complex... ...which explains why all my highschool teachers always said I never believed in myself."

"How do you make holy water? Fill a pot with water and boil the hell out of it."

"If you're walking down the street and see a teenager, don't panic; just yell ""One Direction selfie twerk"" and slip away in the confusion."

"The Dark Knight Rises.....a porn title that requires no alterations."

"How does a Xenomorph reveal its sexuality to friends and family? At night. Mostly."

"What is the hungriest mineral that exists? Apatite"

"Being dark skinned is a CHOICE. In just a few years, through prayer, celebrity Beyonce is almost completely white. You can change too."

"A man is asked why he can't see the Fifty Shades of Gray movie... He replies, ""I'm color blind and can only see 36 of them."""

"Sex on the golf course: Is that considered a ""hole-in-one?"""