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Joke of the Day

"I was gonna make a joke about the internet... But Why Would We need it"

"Why is 17 called the ""mother-in-law"" in black jack? Because you wanna hit it, but sometimes you cant."

"Divorces should just be reverse weddings where you get pushed out of a church while your friends steal appliances from your home."

"Hard to believe I once had a phone ATTACHED TO A WALL. When it rang I'd pick it up WITHOUT KNOWING WHO WAS CALLING. Amazing I'm still alive."

"I'm not a god. I'm a regular guy who just happens to be immortal and perfect in every way. There's a difference."

"How did the autistic boy survive his jump from a plane? He was retarded"

"By the time a man realises that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he's wrong."

"*pretends to throw a ball and my dog chases after it* haha idiot *checks email* holy shit i won a million dollars??"

"My girlfriend wanted a joule... unfortunately I am out of Fs."

"What did the smoked salmon say after it realised it was no longer ill? ""I'm cured!"""