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Joke of the Day
"Quit embarrassing me in front of my friends, iPod shuffle."
Next Joke
"I don't understand... ...how God can have Ten Commandments for the whole world, and yet my wife can have 152 just for our house."
"My mule is pretty lazy... ... Always doing half-assed work."
"I'm not fat. My stomach is 3D"
"A newly wed guy asked me about marriage. I told him it's sort of like a museum. You have to be quiet and you can't really touch anything."
"I just overheard my kid muttering ""I'm sorry you had to see that"" to a stuffed toy. It's probably best not to ask what ""that"" was right?"
"Irish Nessie Over in Ireland, in a lake near Dublin, thay have their own Nessie. It's a monster that likes to ring doorbells. It's a knock-less monster."
"Facebook: losing friends. Twitter: gaining friends Instagram: gaining weight"
"My marriage counselor told me that I suffer from premature ejaculation... I said...""I don't suffer."""
"I'm pretty confident I can perform this Appendectomy on myself. Thanks YouTube"