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Joke of the Day

"A newly wed guy asked me about marriage. I told him it's sort of like a museum. You have to be quiet and you can't really touch anything."

"Why should you never laugh at thieves in a car-accident? It could be your car"

"Cop: Are you drunk or high on drugs? Me: No officer. Cop: Your pupils are dilated. Me: (Paranoid) WHA!, how'd you know I teach fat kids?!"

"If science is so great why hasn't it invented chocolate that has negative calories?"

"What do you call a place monks go for Halloween? A monascary"

"I went to the National Air and Space Museum in DC... There was a lot more stuff in there than I'd expected"

"My four year old cousin told me: Home is where you can sit on the toilet as long as you want."

"A guy really wants to make it in Hollywood.. So he starts cleaning his room desperately. His mate: ""What are you doing man?"" Him: "" I am dusting off man.."""

"What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't call him anything, we both know that he's not coming"

"I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me."