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Joke of the Day

"My mom called me 4 times in a row and woke me up to tell me this joke. I'm so excited about spring i wet my plants!"

"i'm so sorry sir, but we here at chase bank don't accept gun-for-money exchanges. and we need an amount, not just ""all the money you got"""

"How do you silence a group of women? Bring out your camera."

"I refuse to stay at a Holiday Inn until they publicly specify what holiday they are referring to."

"[police raid at balloon store] Cop on radio:""We can hear gunfire is everyone ok, over"" Hedgehog cop inside:""Its not gunfire, over"""

"confucious says man who worships the pussy.... puts his thrust in god."

"Just watched the amazing Spiderman 2, thought of this. I thought Spiderman was going to kick the crap out of electro, but it turns out he's black and blue to start with."

"Why is Peter Pan on the No-Fly list? Whenever he boards a plane it neverlands"

"How many ears does Spock have? The left ear, the right ear and the Final Front-ear."

"I saw a hipster walking outside in the cold. He didn't have a jacket on, so I asked him why. He said he was outside before it was cool."