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Joke of the Day

"My mom called me 4 times in a row and woke me up to tell me this joke. I'm so excited about spring i wet my plants!"

"She was only a lumberjack's daughter ... ... but she always gave me wood."

"What happens when you turn a cashew in to the police? You bust a nut"

"Why did the semen cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning..."

"My name should just be man1012... because I have no D. (according to a YT commenter)"

"What is the internet's predominant religion? Cat-holic-ism. Meow!"

"[META] Can we have S,M,L flairs on joke posts to indicate length? Sort of similar to /r/tifu"

"your honor, i nominate the real murderer for the ice bucket challenge!! [a guy stands up] nice"

"I tried a new asian burrito recently, but the green onions kept falling out. Curse those wrap-scallions!"

"20 years ago we had Johnny Cash Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please dont let Kevin Bacon die!"