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Joke of the Day

"20 years ago we had Johnny Cash Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please dont let Kevin Bacon die!"

"What do you call a dog in jeans and a sweater ? A plain clothes police dog !"

"*Takes our kid away so my wife can have a break* *Takes kid to pub* *Bumps into wife at pub*"

"Gender fluid I'm gender fluid. Some times I'm a man, and some times I'm a woman. It depends on which restroom is available."

"[raises hand in English class] Why do we need to be learned English? ""Hmm.. Couldn't have worded that better myself, Luke"""

"I wonder if they'll ever release Call of Duty Go in the UK They've been playing it in America for years"

"The problem with dieting is food."

"I like my coffee like I like my women. Without a dick."

"Whoa whoa whoa. Stand down, nipples. It's just a little chilly weather, nothing to get excited about."

"I swear to god dude, if you say ""But what if we get arrested?"" One more time you're out of the group."