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Joke of the Day
"She was only a lumberjack's daughter ... ... but she always gave me wood."
Next Joke
"A good metaphor for today's youth is the book Peter Pan... Kids sneak out. Get high on dust together. Beat up handicapped man, and steal his boat."
"What do you call using Tinder while you are in the bathroom? A swipe and wipe."
"First time and with a hooker They are both naked and he says -""this is my first time..."" she says -""relax and tell me what you like..."" -""cheesburguer"""
"Why do milking stools only have three legs? 'Cause the cow has the udder"
"If you think you aren't creative, buy a gym membership and see how many excuses you find not to use it."
"[Jogs to a halt in front of you minutes after a fire truck passes]That guy's (panting) never gonna sell any fire (panting) driving that fast"
"Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? He woke up due to the noise he made snoring."
"How many Surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb To get to the other side"
"What is the coolest food on the planet? Burr-ito!"