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Joke of the Day
"Why doesn't Trump's campaign manager answer his phone? Unlike him it doesn't have battery charge."
Next Joke
"How to annoy your children: Me: Don't come in here without knocking Child: Ok *leaves* *knocks* M: Who is it? C: It's me! M: Go away"
"Admit it, you should be doing something else really important right now but you're on Facebook instead."
"Two muffins are sitting in a oven... One muffin says to the other, ""Damn, it's hot in here"". The other muffin says, ""HOLY SHIT! A TALKING MUFFIN!!"""
"I once had sex for an hour and 45 seconds. Thanks daylight savings."
"Cops: You were driving while intoxicated Me: I was in no condition to walk"
"""Hi, My name is John Foreman and I run a cabinet making business."" John said counter-productively."
"What is Chris Brown's favorite cooking appliance? A Black and Decker"
"What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing. Oceans can't talk"
"Did you know Stevie Wonder got a cheese grater for christmas? He said it was the best book he's ever read"