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Joke of the Day

"Admit it, you should be doing something else really important right now but you're on Facebook instead."

Next Joke
 
"I really want a sandwich, but I just don't have the time or energy to find a girlfriend right now....."
"All the guys complaining about my thighs touching each other... If you were this close to my vagina you'd be touching yourself too."
"Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He sipped his drink before it was cool"
"Cop: Are you drunk? Me: Could a drunk person do this? *I just piss my pants* Cop: WOW. Yes actually. Me: That was supposed to be a backflip"
"When I was 6 I got coal from Santa... The next year I decided to get back at him and poison the cookies. Somehow, the bastard found out and killed my dad"
"What's the biggest joke of all time? My life. My entire goddamned life."
"What's the best part about Dragon Ball Z? Find out in the next episode of Dragon! Ball! Z!"
"What do you say to someone with a bladder problem? Urine trouble."
"What did Sir Cumference receive after getting all over the 'D'? Pi(e)"