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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I have my shit together, sometimes I eat an unidentified white substance out of my hair and am grateful when it's frosting."

"""At least 2017 can't be any worse than 2016"" Narrator: ""This is the most incorrect anyone has ever been"""

"What's an otakus favourite dessert? Senpie."

"What does Shakespeare say when he is angry with his dog? Out, out, damned Spot!"

"I wonder when my phone will start listing them as ignored calls instead of missed calls."

"You know what's odd? Every other number."

"Will Apple ever release a product that lasts for more than a few years? iDoubtit"

"[white house staff meeting] Obama: Any questions? *Biden raises hand* Obama: Spongebob is yellow Joe. *Biden returns to coloring book*"

"Switzerland is a pretty sweet country... and their flag's a big plus."

"My doctor prescribed me Adderall to help my concentration and frustration. The only problem is that... now I'm super concentrated on my frustrations."