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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a vitamin and a hormone? You can't make a vita-min. But you can make a hor-mone!"

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"My misery loves vodka, and hates company."
"One time the top popped off my blender when I was making a smoothie. So... Yeah Iceland, I get it."
"They should make a tabletop game about space marines saving for retirement Call it Warhammer 401k"
"Before I go swimming in the ocean... I always slather myself in marmite, that way I have a 50% chance of not getting eaten by a shark."
"Wanna hear a pun about long hair? Rapunzel."
"If I knew you in high school and your Facebook profile picture is a baby I'll assume you're Benjamin Button and unfriend you."
"This vegan I met said she knew me But I'd never seen herbivore"
"what do you call a gay dinosaur? a megasoreass"
"I like this time of year because I can dig graves in my front yard and people think it's just a cute Halloween display"