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Joke of the Day

"I'm not Anti-Social. I'm Pro-Doing Shit on my Phone."

"Girlfriend and I are visiting San Fran to finally see the Golden Gate in person. ""What are we going to do when we see it?"" she asks. ""We'll cross that bridge when we get there."""

"Did you hear about the man who was hit over the head with a bobble-head in a rice field? It's the first reported case of a knick knack paddy whack."

"I was just gone for a moment When the jews came into the Palastinian territory to found Israel they were like: ""Thanks for keeping my place warm"""

"""Honey,can u make the dinner reservations for 3 instead of 2 tonight? Debby's coming"" ""We're not bring ur new chainsaw-"" ""HER NAME'S DEBBY"""

"M'eal *tips waiter*"

"Hey, do you follow /r/piratejokes? Arr, there's not much to sea!"

"How often do I tell chemistry jokes. Periodically"

"What type of clothing does a House wear? Address."

"Don't you just hate when people reply with ""This?"" This."