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Joke of the Day

"What were the headlines like when the shovel was invented? There's been a ground breaking discovery..."

"All music classes were banned at my school... They said the classes encouraged too much sax and violins..."

"Love many, trust few, and learn to paddle your own canoe."

"Clowns terrorizing the streets. A real life billionaire villain running for president. We need Batman now more than ever"

"Are we done? Can we go? -A memoir."

"SCIENCE: If you have another person posing with you in your twitter avatar, 100% of the time you're the uglier one."

"It took Michelle Obama two presidencies to get kids outside... and Nintendo two days."

"I farted in front of my Jewish friend... He glared at me. I said, ""What? A little gas never killed anyone !"""

"Food Network makes me feel like a perv: Beat it It's not moist enough My wrist is tired Look how thick it's getting It's all about flavor"

"Two cows were talking in a field.. One said to the other, ""Have you heard about that mad cow disease?"" The other says, ""Yeah, good thing we're penguins""."