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Joke of the Day

"Me: Dark Lord, I am your devoted servant. Please accept this sacrifice as proof of my -- Satan: I have a girlfriend."

"Why are mosquitos religious ? They prey on you !"

"Did you hear about the Dick that graduated from Law School? He was appointed first attorney genital."

"When I was a kid, I used to dream about swimming in an ocean of orange soda. Now I realize that it was just a fanta-sea."

"Where do dock workers like to shop? Crate and Barrel."

"I AM NOT REALLY YELLING AT YOU I JUST GOT USED TO TALKING TO MY TEENAGER WHO ALWAYS HAS HEADPHONES IN"

"Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he didn't have any guts"

"I have a ton of leftover horse. It turns out I'm not as hungry as I thought I was."

"My wife said that we need to have a talk after my 2 year old goes down for a nap so I filled her sippy cup with Red Bull."

"Yo mamma conforms to Planck's law - the greater the frequency with which she screws, the more energetic she gets."