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Joke of the Day

"Why are mosquitos religious ? They prey on you !"

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"I lost 189 lbs in one week. By getting a divorce."
"I was asked to babysit once but it didn't go very well. You're not meant to sit on them."
"If weed becomes legalized after Snoop Dog dies He'll be rolling in his grave"
"A better name for 'Abercrombie and Fitch' would be 'Abercrombie and White Trash Pre-Abortion Smelly Whore Store'"
"The rain is pounding so hard I'm kind of jealous."
"What does Chick-fil-A and their CEO have in common? Both hate when people stick beef between two buns."
"What's Canada's spy agency? The CI, eh?"
"I own the tallest horse in town. When I sit on it, I understand what it's like to be a vegan."
"I can't have teamwork at League of Legends because... the only people listening to my calls are the NSA."