143560

Joke of the Day

"ZOMBIE 1: why do we eat brains? ZOMBIE 2: because. It's food for thought! haha ZOMBIE 1: [sigh]"

"Why can't you trust snakes ? They speak with forked tongues !"

"I went out with one woman who turned out to be an arsonist. I met her on match.com"

"You can tell I'm having a tough time writing this teleplay by all the crumpled up laptops overflowing my trash can."

"What is similar between Spain, Ireland, and the United States? Their economies falter after a popping of a housing bubble."

"Why couldn't the octopus take off her bra? It had suction cups."

"What do Bristol Palin and Iraq have in common? It's just so hard to pull out."

"This 'Planking' craze has really taken off... The old man who lives next door to me has been lying face-down in his back yard for three days now."

"You call it laziness', I call it laziness' too because I don't feel like coming up with an alternate excuse."

"How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, you fucking racist!"