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Joke of the Day

"You can tell I'm having a tough time writing this teleplay by all the crumpled up laptops overflowing my trash can."

"What do you call and Indian funeral? A pool party"

"What is the difference between frustration and satisfaction? ""What the Fuck!"" and ""What a Fuck!"""

"What's red like a strawberry, hard like beef jerky, smells like vinegar, and is found under your bed? Me neither. Help."

"A blind man walks into a bar.. And a table. And a chair."

"get away from the tree Dad: get away from that tree son! Son: why dad? Dad: it looks shady"

"You did yoga. You didn't negotiate a peace treaty. Stop walking around like that."

"Hey, you have something on your chin... no, the 3rd one down."

"[music club] what should we play today [hand goes up] yes joe? ""banjo"" all those who wanna ban joe raise their hand [everyones hand goes up]"

"I'm not saying he's a gold digger, but he certainly did not hold back when I took him through the McDonald's drive thru."