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Joke of the Day
"How big is the US-Mexico border wall going to be? It's gonna be YUGE!!!"
Next Joke
"A Czech one: God is carrying a bag of dicks... ...when he suddenly trips over a rock and all the dicks fall out. He gets pissed off: ""I'm not going to pick them up, Prague's going to be here!"""
"What's green and comes out of your nose at 160mph? A lambo-greenie!"
"Sometimes I wish real world conversation had a 140 character limit."
"What's the best thing to come out of a penis? The wrinkles. (Told to me by my mother)"
"My washer and dryer are doing this weird thing where they've started shrinking my clothes and adding stubborn fat around my midsection"
"Why don't women tip bartenders? They don't give a tip because they take the tip."
"*Brings 8 year old back to hospital nursery with receipt* This one doesn't listen anymore...Can I get a new one?"
"My girlfriend and I decided to make a sex tape. But I came too quickly so we made a Vine. (Saw something similar in a meme so I can't take the credit)"
"ALCOHOL. Because no good story ever began with, ""So, I was sitting there eating this salad..."""