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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I wish real world conversation had a 140 character limit."

Next Joke
 
"She said yes! Unfortunately, the question was ""Are you sure you want to break up?"""
"I keep myself in good enough shape to outrun most women and children during emergencies."
"I'm definitely the drunkest person in this ball pit."
"My rear view mirror broke off. No biggie, I'll just put one of my contact lenses in backwards."
"Make sure you don't forget the 'R' when you're Googling, ""movies of Gary Oldman."""
"A priest, an astronaut, and a hair dresser walk into the bar The bartender looks up and says ""What is this, a joke?"""
"I won the Most Unreliable Employee award. I'll collect it when I can be bothered to go back in."
"Statistics say there's a gay guy in every group of friends. I think it's Tim... he's got a great ass."
"I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now."