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Joke of the Day

"I used to think I could control ducks with my mind but it turns out ducks & I just have very similar ideas about what stuff ducks should do"

"What do you call an Asian race car driver Nobody knows"

"What did the vet say about the maimed donkey? Wow, that ass sure took a pounding"

"""Yesterday you were 3 Chainz and now it's 5 Chainz,"" Janet cried. ""Where does it stop?"" 8 Chainz frowned. ""14 Chainz doesn't have time for"

"If you believe you can pass a drug test by drinking large amounts of water, you're just diluting yourself."

"My mothers nearly 80 and she still doesn't need glasses. She drinks right out of the bottle!"

"Why should you never use r/television 's fridge to store mutton? It always spoils the GoT."

"Hearing them call a 25 year old hockey player a 'veteran' and a 28 year old player 'old' has done zilch for my self esteem today"

"I have earned 800.25 as a male prostitute Too bad each of them paid 0.25"

"A vegan invited my friends and I to a vegan restaurant.... the food really lettuce down."