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Joke of the Day

"Girls call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor."

"I accidentally left the refrigerator open while watching Game of Thrones (SPOILERS EVERTHING)"

"Why doesn't The Rock just tell us what he's cooking? I can't pair wines like this."

"Eating at this new Hitler-themed breakfast place, Luftwaffles."

"I'm glad so many American children have smart phones since they don't have an education."

"What are the advantages to living in Switzerland? Their flag is a big plus."

"What will Donald Trump definitely do when he wins the election? Donald Trump will ban muslim, be a douchebag,make the whitehouse 500x larger and of course, BOMB NORTH KOREA!"

"The 9:50 from Paris has been diverted. Nothing to do with the weather, we just don't like the French."

"What's scary, yellow, almost no eyes, has TONS of hair, and is constantly threatening to kill me if I don't suck it's dick? My Korean girlfriend."

"When I was going into surgery my dad said ""Good luck w/ your surgery"" and I said ""you too"" so now my dad has to get surgery too, he's pissed"