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Joke of the Day

"The 9:50 from Paris has been diverted. Nothing to do with the weather, we just don't like the French."

"Gold chains would make a great retirement gift. For a VERY good slave."

"How do you kill a vegetarian vampire? With a steak to the heart."

"How does a redheaded surgeon operate? Gingerly"

"A Swedish software company has created a new app that records and analyzes what you say during sleep. You can tell the app is working when it's mad at you the whole next day."

"Why do police officers sleep with two rocks near their bed? With one he turns off the light, With the other he checks if the window is closed"

"Doctor: Do you drink alcohol? Me: Why? What've you got?"

"Always Wanted to get Married My daughter always dreamed of getting married when she was a little girl. So we converted to Islam."

"The safe word is ""MMMBop."""

"Why do stormtroopers never have long distance relationships? Because they'd miss each other."