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Joke of the Day

"What will Donald Trump definitely do when he wins the election? Donald Trump will ban muslim, be a douchebag,make the whitehouse 500x larger and of course, BOMB NORTH KOREA!"

"My father works as a statistician at Ford. He must be pretty well-respected there, people are always asking for his auto graph."

"What do you call a hooker with no limits? Your mom."

"[breakfast table] Me: Who killed the entire box of Lucky Charms? 8: Not me 9: Not me CEREAL KILLER: Not me either"

"I bet Hannibal Lecter was pretty disappointed when he found out a five finger discount had nothing to do with purchasing fingers."

"I've been invited to an avoidance. An avoidance? What's that? It's a dance for people who hate each other."

"My dad told me... My dad told me that if I don't get off reddit now he would slam my face on the keybioshdauiewbnfkbhwFIOEWJHFUI9WREFH p9efyh WHBUHF WFH89WRQ FUIWF QUIUIRP P"

"What is a toilet in Ancient Mexico? Aztec."

"What do you call a happy prosecutor? Smiles Edgeworth."

"I have no problems with buying tampons... I am a fairly modern man. But apparently they're not a ""proper"" present. (Jimmy Carr)"