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Joke of the Day

"There was one good thing still to be said about the politician who went to prison for stalking... He was a man of the peep-hole!"

"I got addicted to eating deli meat right out of the refrigerator... But I decided to quit cold turkey."

"I'm often accused of being condescending. That means I talk down to people."

"Kinda hypocritical of me to complain about people who send mixed signals seeing as the mat in front of my door says ""welcome""..."

"Why could'nt one cat impregnate the other cat?? Its because they're both pussies!!"

"Goddammit, my parole officer says none of my RTs count towards community service. This has been a huge waste of time."

"""Two birds with one stone, how about all the birds"" God thinks, hurling an asteroid toward Earth"

"Grandma is doing her best to stay cool. She signed up for some hip surgery."

"My keyboard is such a freak I fingered the shift key 5 times and gave it sticky keys."

"Turns out a At Home DNA Test is not a good baby shower gift."