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Joke of the Day

"Football players, basketball players and soccer players all play with balls. How come my girlfriend refuses to."

"[During surgery] DR DOG: Suction please. NURSE: But there's no bleeding. DR DOG: I know *drooling* but just look at that liver!"

"A woman is watching the food channel... Her husband says: why are you watching this? You can't even cook! She replies: you watch porn all day long and I dont even say anything!"

"What's 3 inches long, stiff, and makes people laugh? My dick."

"in canada if you pat your pockets to show a hobo that you have no change and he hears your keys jingle, you have to give him your house."

"9: What did that message on the TV say Me: It said, the film has been modified to fit our screen 9: How do they know what size TV we have?"

" Hey cow You're an all star You are grain fed No hay Hey cow You are ground down Graded U.S. D.A. "

"What's the scariest thing about a white man in prison? You know he did it."

"Years ago I tried on my sister's bra, couldn't undo the clasp & was too embarrassed to ask for help. I'm still wearing it. I live in shame."

"I'm going to change my name to Benefits' Now when you add me on Facebook it will say ""You are now friends with benefits."""