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Joke of the Day
"Sorry about my two week Twitter hiatus, I was trying to find the end of the plastic wrap."
Next Joke
"muffin man I was talking to the muffin man he looked kinda sad so I said something wrong? He said, no muffin's wrong"
"What does the narcissistic cow say? ""Meeeeee!"" I wrote this. I'm now a comedy writer. You are welcome."
"What does a skeptic chemist say when he hears a baseless argument? No lye?"
"Boy: My love for you is like counting the stars.. Girl: Oww, Infinite? Boy: Nope, Pointless .."
"My new girl friend. Just got a new Czech girlfriend, but its taken her nearly 5 days to hoover the house. Turns out she's a Slovak."
"makeup beauty Omg = oh my girl so cute next morning without makeup Omg = ohh My God omg/omg = life without wife"
"Have you heard the one about the dog on the roof? You wouldn't get it, it's over your head."
"My dad dropped his meth pipe. Now he has a crack pipe."
"What do u call a Mexican with a rubber toe? Roberto"