142881

Joke of the Day

"If you could choose between world peace and $100,000,000, what color would you choose for your Ferrari?"

"Things I constantly worry about pressing: 1. ""Like"" while ex stalking 2. Send all drafts 3. A baby's soft spot Yes, this list is in order."

"How do you make a neato burrito? With cool beans."

"Did you hear that they upgraded the lighting system on the Goodyear blimp? Now they call it the LED zeppelin."

"My mother doesn't believe the dough will rise in the oven. She'll believe when she sees the proof."

"I Like My Coffee Like I Like My Girls Without a penis"

"My friend accidentally shot off three of his toes He told me to get him to a hospital, I told him ""Sorry i'm Lack-Toes Intolerant""."

"[First Date] ""Okay don't let her know you're a tool shed"" Waiter: Anything to drink? Date: a screwdriver please *My head slowly opens*"

"The cop jokes on this sub are getting out of hand All the black jokes keep getting shot down."

"Tits are like Lego bricks. They're there for the kid, but dad ends up playing with them."