122094

Joke of the Day

"I Like My Coffee Like I Like My Girls Without a penis"

"What's next to Moscow? Pa's cow. I'll show myself out..."

"[Interview] CEO: Why do you think you'd be a good fit at our firm? GUY WHOSE DESCRIPTION IS SO LONG HE DOESN'T ACTUALLY GET TO SAY ANYTHING:"

"I prefer Protestant orange juice to Catholic orange juice... It's Pulp-free"

"What do you call a girl who hunts owls? A hooters shooter girl"

"in the harry potter universe, where do wizards with weird sexual fetishes go? AYN ALLEY"

"The world seems like a beautiful place until you realize that there isn't one thing that hasn't been shoved up a butt."

"My GPS just told me to turn left into a cornfield and now I'm afraid it wants to murder me."

"Where the hell were these teachers that bang their students when I was in high school?!"

"""Go to hell"" is so abstract. ""Get trapped in a porta potty for 67 months."" Now that's specific. That's possible. That's terrifying."