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Joke of the Day

"Things I constantly worry about pressing: 1. ""Like"" while ex stalking 2. Send all drafts 3. A baby's soft spot Yes, this list is in order."

"Me: ""I really like this car"" Salesman: ""Yeah and it also has a latch in case someone gets stuck in the trunk!"" Me: ""Eh, what else ya got?"""

"Chocolate coins are easily the most delicious of all coins; plus, they don't get stuck in your teeth like pennies."

"Tried belly dancing but ended up looking like an insect about to die."

"You can't keep two ducks alone together It's a paradox."

"Calling ""shotgun"" is great way to lighten the mood when getting in the squad car after the cops arrest you."

"How many Grateful Dead fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just wait for it to burn out and follow it around the country for 20 years."

"What do you call 4 condoms? For me, a year's supply."

"What's the difference between a rooster and a hooker? a rooster says cocka-doodle-doo a hooker says any cock will do."

"So many people say ""if my memory serves me correctly"" and I'm actually quite shocked at the amount of servants named Memory......."