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Joke of the Day

"Over the years, my sexual fetishes have been getting more perverse But it wasn't until I spanked a statue that I realized I hit rock bottom"

"I hate people who talk about me behind my back... They discussed me."

"Paul Walker was in Eight Below... ...and now, he's six below."

"How did blind slaves escape the South? The Underground Braille-road"

"My 13 year old doesn't speak when she picks up the phone. She just listens and hangs up. I think she's going to be a hitman someday."

"A classic Tommy Cooper gag * I said to the gym teacher: 'Can you teach me to do the splits?' * He said: 'How flexible are you?' * I said: 'I can't make Tuesdays.'"""

"GIVE ME FUEL GIVE ME FIRE GIVE ME MILK THAT'S NOT EXPIRED"

"Why did the musician hate getting drunk? He always had treble finding his keys!"

"What did the woman do that found gold in her vagina? She mined her own business."

"Today i learned that the average person has 8 sexual partners in their lifetime Today i also learned im a whore"