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Joke of the Day

"My mate went bald ten years ago and he still has his old comb that he used to use . He just cant part with it."

"It was hard to come to terms with the death of my wife, but eventually the assassin and I agreed on a fee."

"I've always wanted to be a plumber But it's probably just a pipe dream."

"Sorry I booped your nose when you said that you loved me."

"My boss: Why are you sleeping at your desk?! Me: Because my bed is at home."

"What's Forrest Gump's password? 1forrest1."

"I shat on my girlfriends roof. I need to wipe the slate clean."

"Did you know they are making an action movie about the great composers? Arnold Schwarzeneggar says he'll be Bach."

"That awkward moment when a person says they need their beauty sleep when what they really need is plastic surgery."

"Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted."