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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross a gorilla and a member of the Westboro Baptist Church? a retarded gorilla"

"""If I had a bookstore I'd make the mystery section really hard to find."""

"Do I hate when people answer their own questions? Yes."

"Coworker just asked me if I'm ""working hard or hardly working"" & now I'm standing over him asking if he's ""bleeding bad or badly bleeding?"""

"I've hit hard times, and to make money I'm going to sell my vacuum cleaner. Because right now it's just gathering dust."

"""What should we call the 5th month?"" May I suggest- ""Great suggestion. May it is"""

"Last night I went to a bar and someone put a Mira-Lax in my drink Overall, it was a pretty shitty night"

"how is Duct Tape like The Force? It has a Dark side, a Light side and it binds the galaxy together."

"Your honor, may I approach the bench? ""You may."" *walks up to bench* *boops judge's nose*"

"Have you heard about the one about suicidal procrastinator He lived a long healthy life."