142691

Joke of the Day

"(NSFW) What is the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich. I Don't fuck my sandwich before I eat it."

"A chain lock on a door is just there to annoy the person who is breaking in to kill you, right?"

"Jesus and his disciples walk into a restaurant. Jesus: A table for 26, please. Headwaiter: But there's only . . . um, 13 of you. Jesus: Yeah, we're all going to sit on the same side."

"What is a traitor's favorite food? Eggs Benedict"

"For job interviews, your best bet is to dress as a pizza delivery person, march in and say ""Who ordered DILIGENCE and ATTENTION TO DETAIL!?"""

"Half the time, I just want to respond to an ELI5 thread with ""I'll tell you when you're older."""

"And then God said: Let women have infallible memory. But technology said: And screenshots, just in casies."

"If a leaf and an emo fall from a tree, who hits the ground first? The leaf. The rope stopped the emo."

"Surround yourself with people who will groom your eyebrows should you ever become comatose"

"I get asked all the time why I play in a gay basketball league It's because I love going up and down the hardwood."