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Joke of the Day

"I think this Deadpool movie is going to really bring down the house. Having only three walls isn't good for their structural integrity."

"What's six inches and not getting sucked today Whitney Houston's crackpipe"

"It must be Monday somewhere."

"My dad died of severe hemorrhaging, and my best friend was disabled by ischemia. Different strokes for different folks, I guess."

"Is it racist that I only use chopsticks when eating Asian food? I'm never like, ""Time for pancakes! Where are my chopsticks?"""

"The word ""methamphetamine"" looks like it was written by somebody using it."

"Q. Where do fish sleep? A. In a river bed"

"you got to be fast to make it in advertising kid. gotta be snappy. gotta be clever. how would you sell a car? thats right: titties"

"Ppl at Starbucks are weird. They love it when I bring our chihuahua in a little baby stroller, but get all freaked out when I let him nurse."

"A Social Media Consultant walks into a bar and orders a drink. He copies-and-pastes the drink to five other bars and requests that they become a fan of it, then bills the first bar for six drinks."