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Joke of the Day

"When I said I wanted to take it slow, I meant your life."

"My Friend once tried his hand at stand-up comedy My friend once tried his hand at stand-up comedy.It was so pathetic that everybody just laughed at his jokes."

"The Secret Service has come up with a new plan for protecting our president-elect. In the event of an armed attack, they will yell ""Donald, duck!"""

"Basketball would be a lot more exciting if each team was allowed one bear."

"I'd be much more attracted to you if you were much more attractive."

"Every tweet has 140 characters and if some of you learned the difference between it's and its you'd have one to spare."

"What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 50 pounds."

"Friend at Memorial Day BBQ: I see you wasted no time with the white pants. Me: These are my legs."

"Whats long and green and smells like pork? Kermit the frogs finger."

"I visited Karl Marx's grave in London yesterday. It was just another Communist plot."