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Joke of the Day

"When I said I wanted to take it slow, I meant your life."

"Be serious with unknown girls. Boy: The principal is so dumb! Girl: Do you know who I am? Boy: No... Girl: I am the principal's daughter! Boy: Do you know who I am? Girl: No... Boy: Good! *walks away*"

"You can't make a squid cake... But you can make an octopi."

"Milk prices could reach as high as $8/gallon soon & at those prices I'm giving everyone the OK to cry if you spill some."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? I have a flesh-eating disease, and it's slowly killing me."

"What is the witches motto ? We came we saw we conjured !"

"Best Depiction of a Dystopian Past or Future Full of Really Attractive People #NewOscarCategories"

"Watson, Sherlock Holmes's faithful assistant, asked, ""What's a ten-letter word meaning 'supplying nourishment'?"" Sherlock replied, ""Alimentary, my dear Watson."""

"They are writing a biography about my dick Ok. Ok. A pamphlet."

"Why did Adele cross the road? To say Helllllooo from the other siiiiide. My daughter came home from school with that one."