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Joke of the Day

"If I found out I only had a week to live, and could go anywhere in the world, I think I'd go to the hospital because that sounds serious."

"*goes to the gym* *takes a selfie & posts it on Facebook for the wife to see* *hurries to the bar*"

"scientist 1: how did you discover that dolphins have sex for pleasure? scientist 2: [flashback to the craziest night of their life] math"

"When I was in college I had all these philosophical questions. Now I just want to know how these kids got toothpaste under the toilet seat."

"Most disgusting joke I know ... [NSFW] So, I was eating out my girlfriend when all of a sudden I tasted horse sperm. I couldn't help but shout out ""aha grandmother, so that's how you died!""."

"I can touch every animal's toes except the camel's. Doing that gets me arrested."

"Shout out to Debra on Facebook for saving lives by letting everyone know that the snow is slippery."

"2 young Christians walk into a bar... But they're under age & can't drink, so they don't really do anything."

"So hoola hoops are a thing again... I figured they'd swing in to style again eventually!"

"Why aren't cars made out of wood? Because they wooden go."