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Joke of the Day

"""Is this seat Taken?"" - Guy who confuses Liam Neeson movies with a chair."

"My career as a karate instructor finally came to an end. The parents found out I wasn't qualified and just enjoyed kicking children."

"I'm a Mime rapper I call myself Gnat. Cause I'm a silent G."

"Why couldn't the anthropologist find any Lomekwian tools? They were looking in Oldowan places"

"So there are these pants that have padding to make ones butt appear larger... ...it's anal-lusion!"

"If your rice accidentally gets wet, you can dry it out overnight by placing it in a bowl of cellphones."

"My dog eats his puke and dirty tissues... but I point him to a mushroom I dropped and he gives me the ""what is this shit"" look."

"Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK."

"I used to be a street performer But I could only accept credit cards; it didn't make any cents."

"Cakeday special - what did the Chinese gangster do? Made him an offer he couldn't understand"