142394

Joke of the Day

"That mini heart attack you get when the parked car next to you moves and you think you're moving."

"I mean, if Marie Antoinette didn't want her head cut off, maybe there should've been actual cake. ~ Why I was kicked off the debate team"

"Caught my son smoking pot then my wife walked in and caught me and our son smoking pot. Anyways I'm grounded."

"Rodney Dangerfield: ""Y'know, my wife and I, we never have sex... ... we get undressed, we can't stop laughing."""

"How do philosophers shave off their beards? Occam's razor"

"Levi's commercial idea. A man lay dead on the ground. Another man stands over him. The camera pushes in slowly on the killer's face. Levi's"

"If your kid eats the chocolate bunny's feet first, ""so it can't get away,"" that's your future serial killer right there."

"Some of your behaviour is completely embarrassing but highly entertaining. Carry on."

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick into my girlfriend's ass."

"I recently did a survey on Syria. The results blew me away."