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Joke of the Day

"A Christian, a Muslim and a Jew walk into a bar... What a fine example of an integrated community. ^(Credit: Bernard Righton/John Thomson)"

"If a bear is chasing you, don't run. Be very still and tweet about it because you're about to die."

"What was the name of Russia's first female traffic cop? Ivana Pulyova"

"My thoughts and prayers go out to all those with super busy key chains today. With dolls and shit on them, and fistfuls of keys and whatnot."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bond ! Bond who ? Bond to succeed !"

"Blowing your load on a girl counts as a baby shower right ?"

"Don't be that guy that goes around saying ""Don't Be That Guy."""

"Good Cop: We want to help you. Just tell us who was with you on the night of August the 15th. Bae Cop: My parents aren't home. Come over."

"I was at the ATM the other day and this old lady asked me to help her check her balance So I pushed her."

"Why didn't the gunpowder plot work? Because gunpowder is black."