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Joke of the Day
"Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs? So they don't get mistaken for feminists."
Next Joke
"My math teacher accused me of cheating, I can't help that my English teacher is hotter."
"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate."
"2017 Resolution: spend more quality time with my son *son begins describing his 500 new Pokemon cards* Well, there's always next year"
"You think your wife is crazy now? Try divorcing her"
"The Jewish Dad A Jewish kid asks his dad for $50. His dad replies ""$40?! What the hell do you need $30 for?!"""
"Who's the dankest pokemon? Vaporeon"
"Two fish were in a tank One of them turns to the other and says, ""how do you drive this thing?"""
"STOP TEXTING ME. IF I EVER PLANNED ON TALKING TO YOU AGAIN I WOULDN'T HAVE BORROWED ALL THAT MONEY."
"Shout out to people who block me cuz it hurts their feelings I occasionally fav them without following. You can also just ask me to stop :/"