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Joke of the Day

"'Say it with flowers' Send a wreath"

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"I tried to make a robot that ate watches... but it was too time-consuming."
"Reddit administration."
"How soft is Bill Gate's pillow? Microsoft."
"The year is 2157, our world is much like the one in that futuristic movie starring Tom Cruise. No, the other one. No, the other one. No, the"
"I don't care what your favorite song is, if you set it as the alarm you wake up to in the morning, you'll want to stab it with other songs."
"A hummingbird is a lot like a songbird, It just doesn't know the lyrics."
"What do you call two marry-go-rounds having sex? I don't know, i'm just fucking around."
"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because they're all dead"
"I laughed too hard at this. What has a bottom at the top? A leg"