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Joke of the Day

"How soft is Bill Gate's pillow? Microsoft."

"Twitter is the only place where you're thrilled when a complete stranger starts following you."

"customer: *looking at menu* what's good? me: not much what's good with you? him: ... him: ... me: chicken salad. the chicken salad is good."

"I love how people always leave voicemails when I miss their calls. It's like they want to be ignored twice."

"Why was the black man selling drugs? He was a pharmacist."

"Why can't Jimmy ride his bike? Because he has no limbs Kinda dark, I know. It's just for those out there who would chuckle at this. ;D"

"What happens if you play a country song backward? You get your house back, your dog back, your wife back, and you sober up."

"Whats the Difference Between Hitler and Stalin? Hitler Hit. Stalin Stalled."

"Netflix is all, ""Do you want to watch a bunch of crappy documentaries? No?? Well how about if we charged you $9 a month to watch them??"""

"Who's the best detective in Mexico? Sherlock-Holmes"