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Joke of the Day

"The year is 2157, our world is much like the one in that futuristic movie starring Tom Cruise. No, the other one. No, the other one. No, the"

"Say what you will about terrorists, but those guys really know how to paint the town red."

"My father complained ""I've been using a dating app, but I'm only meeting Middle Eastern men."" Dad, you're using Uber."

"*wear sunscreen* *go up to a guy named Ray and punch him in the nose* *now laugh because sunscreen protects you from ultra violent Rays*"

"It turns out ""Flasher"" wasn't one of the reindeer and I'm being asked to leave this holiday party."

"I've developed a fear of imitation ale, It's a faux beer."

"Guess what Chicken butt"

"What does Mario use to get his hot dogs off the grill? He uses his Donkey Tongs."

"Baa! ""My name is--"" Moo! ""My name is--"" Neigh! ""My name is *chickenchicken* Slim Shady."" -Eminem at a farm."

"I'm so glad you don't give a crap, because that would be a disgusting gift."