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Joke of the Day

"[high seas] FIRST MATE: The men be ready to attack PIRATE: Arr! FIRST MATE: Oh sorry...the men ""are"" ready to attack"

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"I'm sorry I said your head looks too small to power your body."
"What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison"
"The next time you're tempted to crack an easy joke about a typo on a Chinese menu, consider how well you write in Mandarin or Cantonese."
"How come Noah didn't just slap those two mosquitoes?"
"Me: Wanna hear a joke? Dog: sure Me: Knock knock *dog goes crazy barking at the door*"
"I was trying to think of a joke about Vietnam.... but then I realized people might find tet offensive."
"Peanuts HEY THERE SO TWO PEANUTS ARE WALKING DOWN THE STREET, AND ONE WAS ASSAULTED. http://www.masterpiecepumpkins.com/Graphics/RodneyDangerfield%20%20_orig.jpg"
"Did you hear Macklemore changed his name? He's Mackle-less now"
"What did the mom say when she found out her son took an unexpected trip north? I don't like your latitude!"