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Joke of the Day

"[high seas] FIRST MATE: The men be ready to attack PIRATE: Arr! FIRST MATE: Oh sorry...the men ""are"" ready to attack"

Next Joke
 
"A vulture carrying two dead squirrels lines up to board a plane And the flight attendant says to him, ""I'm terribly sorry, sir, but we only allow one carrion."""
"What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef :-D"
"There's nothing wrong with being a self-made man... Unless you have an Oedipus complex and a time machine."
"[hears a voice in the sky] - Is it you? GOD?! [kneels] Voice: Could the idiot on platform 4 stop kneeling every time I make an announcement?"
"Why did the Baker have brown hands? Because he kneaded a poo."
"What kind of jokes do filipinos make? Punny ones"
"""Who am I kidding?"" - blind comedians"
"I almost got a job with Sony but the interview was cancelled"
"What do you call 13 dwarves and a hobbit inside a mountain? A *smaugasbord*."
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